Some Parts of Me Need Fixing.

I wish that it wouldn't get the best of me every single time. I can only ignore this feeling momentarily. It's takes everything out of me to neglect the apprehension of you, but I cannot. I believe that I'm holding my breath but in all actuality, you've knocked the wind out of me. My skin feels raw from the salty tears and all of a sudden my sleeves aren't dry enough to wipe my face. The tingly feeling now burns the more I rub my eyes to get a clearer perspective. I am tired now because you took all of my energy, I'm weak for you now. I hate to love you and I can't seem to let you go. I listened to the phone call and learned the news of your current state and it changed me. It took me back to the place that I know so well but dread tremendously. He watched me and said that my whole demeanor changed. I've been walking around trying to release you from my body but pacing just made me more anxious. He told me that maybe I am abandoning you in the same way. . . I was. I don't believe that I want anything to do with you, but my body, my heart tells me otherwise. Loving you hurts too much. I'm conflicted all over again, or did this ever leave to begin with? You have an exceptional talent in throwing me into confusion.

I just might need someone to hold my face, let the tears stream if the so choose and tell me something better follows this.